3. Getting to Know Lynn Tolson
It sounds like you have had a dramatic journey to your present destination. When did you first know you
were a strong survivor?
This question is in reference to my book “Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story.” The book begins with my
suicide attempt at the age of twenty-five. In the aftermath, I was led to counseling. I reveal the abuse and ad-
versity I experienced as a child and young adult. In order to cope, I engaged in unhealthy coping methods, such
as drugs and alcohol. The reader of my book learns about my life lessons as I proceed in the therapeutic process.
Being a survivor means more than existing; it means engaging in all that life has to offer, including the good, the
bad, and the ugly. I noticed that I was a survivor when I saw that I had adapted healthy coping methods, such as
letting go of catastrophic thinking and negative self-talk. I also realized that I was thriving when I was able to
release the self-absorption required for survival and reach out to others to aid their recovery. Another time of
recognizing strong survivorship was when I battled cancer with surgery and chemo. The irony is that 25 years
after trying to take my life, I was fighting to save my life.
Is it important for people to ask for help when healing? How does one know where to turn?
Yes, it’s important that people take the responsibility to ask for help. Problems do not get solved in silence. I’m
more willing and able to work on my self-improvement by myself. However, I am never alone. The grace of God
carried me along on my journey. I’d inched along a rocky road, even crawled after I’d stumbled and fallen. I never
would have come to recovery had I not sought counseling. One does not always know where to turn; sometimes
finding help is a trial and error effort. How much effort are we willing to exert in order to recover? I’m new to
Colorado Springs, but I’ve noticed that there are many resources available. The ultimate destination for a healing
journey is a healthy life, a spiritual connection, and emotional and physical well-being.
Do you believe in Divine Grace? If so, how has it worked in your life?
I used to want the writing on the wall that guaranteed that God heard my prayer. I’ve learned that to experience
Divine Grace I do not have to beg or plead or bargain with God. All I have to do is ask and listen. I learned that
an answer to prayer is not always in the form of a physical manifestation or a problem solved. Answered prayer
can come in the form of an insight, an understanding between people, a timely coincidence, a moment of peace, or
an experience with nature. That is how I interpret Divine Grace.
What are the names of your dogs and why did you choose West Highland White Terriers?
I chose West Highland White Terriers because of their small size. I like a dog I can hold on my lap. Also, Wes-
ties do not shed. I found a breeder when we lived in Missouri. On September 11, 2001, a litter was born. We
claimed one that we named Grace because on that terrible day of terrorists' attacks, by the grace of God, pup-
pies were being born. Grace had so much energy that I realized she needed a playmate. I arranged to get an-
other puppy, born on July 21, 2003 to the same parents from the same breeder. I presented "Annabelle" as a
surprise to my husband on his birthday on September. When Gracie saw the puppy Annie, Grace literally stopped
in her tracks, as if to say, "Is this puppy for me? This is what I've been waiting for." It was love at first sight.
As an author, please tell the names of your published books and what you are working on now?
I have published articles about the ramifications of experiencing abuse, which can be viewed at
www.beyondthetears.com. I am currently working on my memoir about my breast cancer experience.
Do you now have the gift of seeing people clearly and evaluating situations immediately?
If I have a gift for evaluating situations and seeing people clearly, I came by it unwittingly. There was dissension
and tension in my dysfunctional family. In order to protect myself, I had to be on guard, always watching for the
next impossible situation. I no longer need to be in that hyper-vigilant mode. Now I am better able to sense what
others are experiencing, what they may need, and what can be done for the highest good of all concerned. I do
this by practicing being more other-centered than self-centered.
What do you do when you need to take a break from watching over others and do something light-hearted.
I balance my work with watercolor painting. I’ve learned that painting is a process, and is more about what
evolves than the end product. I also like walking and journaling, both of which incorporate being quiet enough
to listen to the voice of God. I love horses, and I’m searching for stables where I can ride.
Getting to know....Lynn Tolson
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